Happy Glorious Fun Lucky Double Launch Prosperity

On Wednesday, July 20th, I did another launch at Ft Tilden. I could make up some sort of reason why, like, “I’ve been really interested in certain tide fluctuations at certain locations and feel as though I need more data from those spots.” But really the truth is that it was a 100 goddamn degrees and I wanted to go to the beach.

My friend Dan had just flown in from the Arctic. And by “Arctic” I mean San Francisco. We used to work together at a ceramics factory in the Bay Area. The years I spent working there were filthy and hilarious and for the most part I loved them. And I’m happy to report that even though Danny has done gone become a lawyer, he is still filthy and hilarious and I still mostly love him.

So we loaded our sweaty selves into the Holy Corolla, along with the also filthy and hilarious Joel, and headed to the beach. It was fairly thick with Brooklynites desperate to cool off and show off. I looked for a not too crowded stretch, found one, and gave the bottle a really pathetic toss. So then I just swam it out. This one had a Great Black-backed Gull in it.


The tide was cooperating so I’m sure Queen Elizabeth will stumble upon it on her next jaunt to her favourite English topless beach. While ruminating on this uplifting yet sagging thought I noticed a piece of sargassum floating nearby. I swam over and there was some sort of tropical looking fish floating about it in. Black and white striped, but not a Sergeant Major fish. As soon as I got close though, he ditched the seaweed and began trying to take up residence in my shorts. He was acting like a pilotfish and maybe it was Naucrates doctor but I can’t be sure. Maybe he was just lonely.

After some damn good Pro-Kadima and general admiration of the half (and sometimes fully) naked hipsters around us, we were properly tanned and ready to head home along the demolition derby that is Flatbush Ave. That evening I was to be one speaker at a lecture put together by Underwater New York. The night was great, with all the speakers being entertaining and enlightening. I was especially interested to hear Marie Lorenz talk about her work, and she didn’t disappoint. Very inspiring.

I spoke last, and after boring/depressing everyone in attendance I was to then do a bottle toss from the Frying Pan along with anyone who desperately needed a drink after learning that the ocean and its wildlife are basically screwed. Well, maybe not the jellyfish. They’ll do fine.


Once at the Frying Pan I had to find a good spot that wasn’t too well lit, but where people could watch if they wanted. I have a feeling the ol’ FP staff doesn’t look too kindly on people throwing glass, and although it seems appealing on paper, I didn’t feel much feel like beaming a frat boy on the head with a bottle. Found a decent place on the port side up by the bow and let fly the bottle Molotov style. I think it was slack tide and I’m pretty sure it just floated around for a while. There’s a Herring Gull in it!

General good times were had, and we drank sangria that was both more expensive and better tasting than I would have expected. Thanks for the booze, Dan and Eddie!

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