Miami Beach can be really beautiful. It’s a shame that it’ll all be underwater soon. It’s going to be hard to say goodbye to this strange place, but it will be very good for my next planned venture – New Atlantis® Florida Farewell Airboat Tours!™

But back in good ol’ 2012, when a climate change denying Rubio was still contained to the state of Florida, I was tossing a bottle there.

I planned to aim for this hole –

There were a lot of people around, and I felt a bit weird just chucking the thing, so I walked a while with my friend Anneliis. And amongst all this pelagic bird art action, we had some real encounters. First some dead ones.

I think these were royal terns, but I wouldn’t say it with absolute certainty. Upon closer inspection, it appeared that one of them was banded. Even though there were a lot of people around, and not the best odor coming from the bird carcass, I wanted to go in and get the band number. I decided to wait until the crowd thinned a bit. Tossed the bottle as a cruise ship headed out to sea. There was a drawing of a sandwich tern in this one. One of my favorite drawings of all these birds. Who doesn’t like sandwiches?

As Anneliis and I watched the bottle bob out to sea as well, a guy came along surf-casting. I started saying he better be careful or he’s going to hook one of these gulls when all of a sudden – he hooked a gull! And I got a little gallant! As the guy fumbled with his rod, I doffed my shirt and wrapped it around the gull. A ring-billed if I remember correctly. The fisherman then was able to delicately extract the hook. Which had managed to get the bird in the mouth and puncture the webbing of its foot. Check out this hot pelagic bird action! Photos courtesy of Anneliis Beadnell

Literally saving birds with my hands, ladies and gentlemen. Although I felt more like George Costanza.

I unwrapped the gull and it looked a little stunned, but not the worst. It took off. And it didn’t even poop in my shirt.